Edamame Pods or The Terrible Addiction
I have eaten 9 packs of edamame pods since Friday. It’s Tuesday and I didn’t eat any on Saturday – Saturday was the day for the Holy Trinity of Pringles, Houmous and Wine *genuflects*
It all started quite innocently a few years ago.
When I met with friends at say, Wagamama’s, we’d share a couple of portions for a “Starter”. Y’know? Just to get the party started.
That was fine – I always managed to have a main course of noodles or something. And the Edamame pods were just…well, just part of the evening, really. I didn’t even think about the fact that I’d eaten them on the way home or anything.
As I say. It was no big deal.
And so what if I started wanting to go to Yo Sushi every weekend? It’s good fun. The kids like it. Look:
And yeah. Maybe I should have worried when I didn’t want to eat the Nigri or the Chicken Katsu Curry. Maybe I should have started to think…”this is getting unhealthy IN A REALLY FUCKING HEALTHY WAY” but I didn’t.
I started scouring the internet. Looking for places I could buy the pods. Sure, sometimes I could source a Birds Eye pack of the de-podded beans at Sainsbury’s - but I’m not some kind of amateur.
I need the sprinkle of sea salt on the pod…
The roughness of the pod suddenly juxtaposed with the slippery smoothness of the bean. The nutty flavour. The way the bean breaks in two…the mindlessness of the action…
I suppose the roots of all this stem from the peas that grow on the vegetable patch at the end of the garden
I was an only child, and lived next door to 3 boys on one side and 3 girls on the other. We spent hours at the very end of our gardens (where the peas grow) talking over the fences, playing french skipping and arguing. We would eat the peas straight from the pod, and that was the only way I could eat them. Cooked peas? Jesus, what are you? some sort of pervert? When you cook a pea the texture changes from one of squeaky pleasure to foamy ick. The sweetness intensifies – and not in a good way. Even the colour changes from a beautiful, tasteful, elegant Eau De Nil to either a khaki sludge, or..or…those frozen ones! They look like they have been grown in radioactive soil, greener than green as they are. Still, as great as peas are, they sure as shit ain’t no Edamame Pods.
It was all OK, I could handle it. Until last week.
Last week I went, innocently, into Marks and Spencer to buy something for lunch.
There, nestled among the sandwiches and shaker salads containing quinoa, lentils and butternut squash (very delicious actually, despite it’s horrifically hippy/vegan vibe) – were fresh edamame pods for sale. Pots with even a little section with Anglesey Sea Salt in…
I only bought one pot that day…God, was it only a week ago?
I enjoyed them. They were really good. I went back the to M&S the next day and bought two pots.
I ate them both. I didn’t bother with the SuperShakerHippySalad.
By Friday I was buying four pots.
My shame was complete on Saturday when I asked someone else to buy me five pots, as they were going near M&S…I handed over a bedraggled fiver. The last five pounds in my purse.( not really, don’t forget I had to buy pringles and houmous and wine *genuflects*)
I really tried not eat the second pot today. The first one? Yeah…that’s fine, they’re GOOD for you, but everything in moderation and all that.
I went for a walk in my lunch hour. Took my camera. (Thought about the pods) Took some photos.
I made friends with a completely potty Dalmation, (Thought about pods) which was all well and good before she plunged into the river (thought about pods) not so great after her dip in the rancid water and then came running back over to me wagging her Pod, covering me splashes of River Pods. I walked to the shops (thought about pods) Bought a new pair on SunPods and walked back to the PodOffice. Had a cup of PodTea, and wrote a list of Things To do, got the Podulator and Podular out and…